You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize