Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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