he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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