I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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