i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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