So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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