Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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