Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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