so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
