I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
