Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
