I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
