I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
