well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
