You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
