i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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