I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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