shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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