im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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