someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
