Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i want to swaddle you in tequila
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
