I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
