I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
