Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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