One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
