If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize