no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize