It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize