I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
two words...techno handjob
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize