when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
