Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
