Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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