Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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