the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
