Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
