And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i came on her dog
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
