i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
