Where is the hickey?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
