Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize