I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
This toilet bowl is my home.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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