Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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