I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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