How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
