You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
