What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
