I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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