the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize