oh fat girl friday strikes again...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
