if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
