You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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