Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize