Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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