I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My Sexting was not on an AP level
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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