There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
